I wrote someone last night, that yesterday was all about the doors and the windows cliche. Well, yesterday was an important day, even if I was trying to underestimate it.
It started when I woke up into my favorite hug. That’s always a good sign, right? It went on to a very nice meeting with someone (same someone from the first paragraph) whom I liked from the first minute I saw her.
Now, that was a door being opened widely towards me. I wasn’t ready for the lovely breeze, but I let myself lay back and enjoy the feeling. As I left and went down the escalators, the vicious reminder of cynicism crossed my mind saying, that if one extra door opens to your face when you didn’t bother closing another, then it must be wrong. I also remember thinking about the motive of timing, because when it comes down to the basics, then that’s what it’s all about. I figured it won’t be too long before I get the news from the university in New York, which will probably shake my world once again in for the last couple of months.
I was ready to get confused, relieved, sad, disappointed, happy and crushed all together. And then came the sick sense of humor of this life and decided to just make it easy for me.
I don’t do easy. Never. I’m all Miss-I-work-hard-to-get-what-I-want. It can’t be easy. Not that easy anyways. Or can it?
They turned me down. As in N-O. No New York.
I was supposed to be devastated. Crushed. Crawling on the floor crying. But I wasn’t. Sure, I was sad and disapointed and sorry and all that. I knew all along that it’s going to be damn hard to get in to that special program that costs United States of America tons of money. Sure, I was taking a No option under consideration when I was working on my application. Dammit, I just worked so hard on it.
And then it happened. After Mr. Ego has left the building, I was relieved. I don’t have to leave my country anymore, I don’t have to work something out with my man, I don’t have to go through any of the drags of moving. Been there, done that, and apparently it’s not going to happen again.
Is it really that easy? Can one really have it all? Do I really get to keep it all? The love, the life, this city, my friends, my family, and my job – all wrapped in a gift wrap with a smiling future included?
Summing up:
1. No NYU, but:
2. Love
3. Tel-Aviv
4. A nice and full of fun job
5. New and old friends
6. Home
Therefore: 7. I’m happy.
(reminder: copy-paste to fridge door)
