My relationship with writing
12 Jun 2009
Oh, it’s a long one.
I started writing as I learned how to. I have always had a personal diary. Ever since I can remember myself. Always.
(The bad part is that I threw them all away)
That was me. The writing girl. When I didn’t have my diary with me, I wrote on everything I could: pieces of paper, school books, school notebooks, post-its, you name it. I used to save all the written pieces and save them till I get home, and then post them to my diary, so I won’t miss a single word.
As I got older, I started writing only when I was sad or having a bad time. Those were the times I wrote most. I sometimes couldn’t stop writing and did it for hours. I used to wake up at nights and hurry to get a piece of paper because some random thought or a sentence crossed my mind while I was asleep and woke me up.
Some people say I don’t talk enough. That I might be too quiet. I guess it’s true. If only they could hear how loud and clear the words are inside my mind, they would probably think differently. I talk to them all, all the time, inside my head. As far as I’m concerned, I’d write them all emails, letters, messages or whatever they’d like as a conversation tool, as long as I don’t have to actually use my voice. I’d much rather write instead.
And then came my thesis, which I made the main theme for it up myself, and it’s mine, and I’m creating it from scratch, and I love it. At the beginning it was surprising and so different. I wasn’t used to write despite my emotions. It’s research, it’s based on facts, it’s a big pile of notes, documents, tables, pictures, memoirs, and more that I have been collecting for two years now. I love writing it, yet it has nothing to do with my writing-out-of-emotions kind of writing.
Writing is endless. It’s another world, parallel to this one, and only those who write can grasp its wonder. I’m so happy I can understand the value of writing. I do feel privileged.
After all this came this brand new year with its world shaking changes. One of them was trying to write about favorite topics. As a career. So this is basically what I do here – I write here about anything I want.
So now I basically write in four different favorite places:
1. My thesis;
2. http://blog.vetrinas.com/ – My blog about http://www.vetrinas.com, which is such a lovely website that I love (oh, and work for 
);
3. http://www.bamoda.co.il/ – A fashion designers index in Hebrew I also just started writing for (in Hebrew);
4. And here. My home. Where I can lay my hat on
It took me a little more than 20 years to finally write freely without locking my diary and placing the key back in my key chain. Growing up can be sometimes nice. Writing about it is another topic I try to handle by writing about with
החלטתי. ואני עדיין במתח נוראי. למה אני לא מסוגלת להיות שלמה ובטוחה בעצמי?
בת 28. אוטוטו 29. אוטוטו מתחילה את החיים. בנשימה האחרונה של המאסטר, בשנייה האחרונה לפני הדוקטוראט. תל-אביבית, אבל לא לתמיד. סינגלית, וורקוהוליקית. ממוקדת אך לעתים נסחפת בלהט הזמן. משתדלת לעצור בזמן. 1 כלבה, 0 בני זוג. מיליון מוניות בחודש, 0 רישיון נהיגה.
