General

catching up with Ms. Self here

Sure, it’s been a while. I’m very not used to not writing for so long.

The past month has been pretty much a rollercoaster for me. My life, or as it may have been seen like my life only a bit more than a month ago, had completely changed. Now, how more dramatic can I be? Unfortunately, not much more than this…

It’s about a man. Not a boy, not a guy, not someone. A man.

Isn’t it always about men?

It usually is, but I still hope that I can say that not always, and if I wish to be specific – not always in my case.

But then again, it is, this time it is.

Oh, it turned into love very quickly. As if there’s no lower level on the way to the big L. There wasn’t. There isn’t.

To make a long-short month just short, it has been a month of love and very little serious work. Of no regrets, of honesty, of pureness, of appreciation, of embracing, of letting go of all  boundaries of all kinds, of letting in, and I mean really in, as if I never let in before.

Emotional suicide for the new-all-better-and-ever-improving world. Ooh yeah.

As for the rest of it, for whatever  it still means, I’m trying really hard to do everything else. I gave a lecture about two weeks ago at a conference for Young German History Scholars and received a nice grant. Going back to work in a week, hoping to finish writing the first chapter of my thesis by then. One of my best friends is getting married next week, I’m really excited for her. Wow, this paragraph would probably be a post long a month ago, now it looks like tiny dots  written in the margins

I feel like I’m changing as I write here. At this very minute. How weird is that ?! How could one feel change in its making?

I’m getting harsh on myself here now, but this is probably what happens when I need to catch up on my writing. I actually want to write about something else, completely different. I should come back later on tonight and just write it.

Sounds like a plan